Keeping Secrets
by Olive Everclear
Summary: Santana keeps secrets from just about everyone. Bad Summary.
1. Doing The Deed

Coach Sylvester wants them to embrace the power of Madonna and date younger men. Santana's pretty sure that she's missing the point as to why Madonna is such an empowering woman but she doesn't argue because she wants to be the Cheerio captain and captains don't argue with Sue Sylvester.

She's standing in the hallway at school, Madonna's music booming all throughout the school. She sees all the upperclassmen girls hanging on freshmen boys that are so below their usual standards, Brittany tells her that she is dating some seven year old or something. She freaks out a little sure that she is going to fail Sue and never become the captain. But then Brittany actually has a good idea. She suggests Finn Hudson.

Ok, technically he's older by three days but on the maturity level he's like five. She's pretty sure she saw his Spiderman boxers peeking out of his pants the other day while he was bending over. And no, she was not checking his ass out. Suggest that and she will end you.

She went up to him in the hallway and pretty much proposition him. She told him it was high time he swiped his v-card and she would to the honors for him. She had no doubt in her mind that he would be super happy for this since, well…since she is Santana Lopez. But when he rejected her offer, she got pissed. That's the only reason she compared him to a cabbage patch doll. In reality she thought Finn was a total stud. Goofy but hot; just not when he was talking.

She was pretty pissed the rest of the day; no one rejects her; no one. Especially not Finn Hudson. Who the hell did he think he was? He's some dumbass who thought he knocked his girl up without having sex and the second he finds out he's all up on the girl who told him about it. And not only that but it's Rachel freaking Berry. No one likes her. She's loud, annoying and thinks she's better then everyone in this town. Plus, she's totally dating that Jesse St. James guy whether she admits it or not.

But when Santana came up to him and said yes, she was a little confused at first. It took her a second to realize what he wanted but then when it hit her she couldn't help but smile. Of course he's change his mind. She's hot and she's offering him sex. What guy wouldn't want to take that?

At lunch they plan it out. Normally Santana wouldn't be caught dead sitting with Finn at lunch, but it was for a good cause. "So, we can't go to my house because my parents will both be home tonight. What about your place?"

"Uh…no. My bed won't be comfortable for you and my mom may or may not be there."

She thought it was kind of sweet that he was worried if the bed would be comfortable or not for her. "Ok, how about this. There is this cheap motel I see all the time when I'm driving to and from school. They always advertise super cheap rooms; we could split the costs and rent a room there."

"I'll just pay…"

"Finn, you don't need to pay for it all. Seriously, it's no big deal."

"Just let me pay."

She smiled a little at him and nodded her head. He seemed like he was going to fight her on this and once again, he was being kind of sweet. So, they picked the place, settled the time. Santana reminded him to get condoms. He seemed super nervous as he walked out of the lunch room. He'll be ok.

Santana went to the mall and bought a cute little purple slip, knowing that Finn likes this color on her. She remembers Finn telling her that back in Middle School when she didn't get annoyed by him every five seconds.

He picks her up later that night and drives them to the motel, the manager gives them some dirty look and she can't help but roll her eyes. They get inside and Finn says he needs to use the restroom. She can tell he's still nervous. She feels a little bad. She remembers that her first time wasn't that special and she never wanted to do that to someone else. They aren't in love but she'll try to make it as good as possible.

She changes into the purple slip and lies back on the bed, waiting for him to come out. He finally does and she sits up, smiling a little. He looks freaked as he walks to the bed. She runs her hands along his chest, pulling him closer to her, her hands move up into his hair and she kisses him. He doesn't hesitate to kiss her back. She's never kissed him before and she's a little surprised by how good of a kisser he is. They move back over the bed and he pulls way, his hand runs along her side and he looks up at her.

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks." She says her voice a lot smaller then she wanted it to be.

Finn surprises her again at how careful he is with her. He's treating her really well as they kiss and undress each other. She's not use to this type of behavior from guys when it comes to sex. Usually they just rip her clothes off, slam into her until they come and then use her as a pillow until they have enough energy to leave. But Finn's like appreciating her body, looking her over, feeling her with his hands, kissing all over her. It's strange but she likes it a lot. And wonders how he knows to do this type of stuff. She almost asks but she doesn't want to make him nervous again and stop.

When Finn sits up to put the condom on, she couldn't help that way her breath quickened a bit when she saw how big he was. She knew he was tall and she kind of expected him to be on the larger side but damn, he was going to kill her. Thankfully Finn didn't seem to notice; she bit her bottom lip and spread her legs a little more for him, lying back a little more as she waited from him.

He turned back to her and she saw all the nervousness coming back to him. She pulled him down and kissed him again on the lips, hoping he'd get back to whatever state he was in before. She assumed it help because she suddenly felt him sink into her. She pulled her lips away from him and moaned loudly.

She glanced down between them and saw that he wasn't even fully in her but she felt so filled by him. He wasn't moving though; she looked back up at him and saw him looking down at her. She wasn't sure why he was being so still. But then he asked if she was ok and she understood. Once again he was being so careful with her. She nodded and rolled her hips up against his. A moment later he started to move in and out of her.

Finn kept it slow; she occasionally looked down between them and saw that he was still not all the way in her. She didn't know why that was bothering her, but it did. She wrapped her legs around his waist, rolling her hips back against his, wanting him to be inside of her all the way.

She got her way eventually and it almost sent her right over the edge. Finn hit first, which she expected since it's his first; she didn't last much longer after that. He flipped them over after they were both done, letting her rest on top of him. Once again, he was surprising her.

Once they both caught their breath, they just laid in bed together, not moving nor talking. After a while Santana got off of him and pulled the slip back on, Finn got dressed too and they sat in bed together. She was freaking out, what just happened? Did Finn Hudson make love to her? No, they're not in love. But it didn't seem like normal sex. It was all sweet and slow and just really amazing.

"I want a burger." She states, leaning over to look for a menu. She was a nervous eater and she was pretty nervous right now. She wasn't falling for Finn Hudson. No way in hell was that happening. But she saw a totally different side of him tonight and she couldn't help but like it. He looked freaked too, what was he thinking? What was he feeling? "How do you feel?" She asked, a littler nervously after she went on about him having to drive her to a burger joint because there wasn't a menu. Probably not something you want to hear after you have sex.

But then he drops a bomb on her. "I feel nothing because it didn't mean anything." Santana swallows a hard lump in her throat, holding herself together. She wants to cry because that really freaking hurt. That's worst then being rejected.

She gets up from the bed, pulls the slip off and dresses in her normal clothes again. He gets up and gets puts his socks and shoes on. She wishes she drove herself. She grabs her cellphone and starts looking through her contacts, she'd call Puck but he's probably busy with Quinn now that he's trying to prove that he can be a good dad. Brittany would get lost. Maybe Matt could pick her up?

She's about to click the call button when Finn comes up behind her and puts his hand on the small of her back. "Ready to go?"

She turns to him and nods. The least the jackass could do is drive her home. She gets into his car and looks out the windshield; not wanting to talk to him or look at him. She notices that he isn't driving in the direction of her house. "Where are we going?"

"You said you wanted a burger." He reminded her.

She wanted to hit him a little for bringing that up so casually. But she just nods and lets him drive her to the nearest burger joint. He offers to pay and she doesn't even feel bad about how much she orders. He insists on parking and eating it together, she doesn't want to but she doesn't want to give away that what he said hurt her, so they do.

She sips on her chocolate milk shake, trying to wash down the fries a little. She never eats this much and she knows she's going to feel super sick tomorrow but she wanted to be a bitch and make him get her a lot and then go home and throw it all away. But she kind of can't do that now that they are eating together.

"It's so cool that you're not afraid to eat."

She rolls her eyes at him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know, some girls don't like eating in front of guys. Quinn was like that. She ate but it was all super small stuff and I doubt it even filled her up."

"It didn't." He gave her a strange look. "Quinn, Brittany and I have this little tradition that after any of us go on a date we have a slumber party and give every little detail of the date. Whenever it was Quinn's date slumber party she'd order pizza to pig out on."

"Are you hosting tonight?" He asked, taking a bite out of his cheeseburger.

Santana shook her head. "No, because we didn't go on a date. We just had sex and sex—"

"Isn't dating. Yea, I know your little saying."

She nods, he nods. They finish eating in silence and he takes her back home. The moment she gets into her room, she calls Puck up and cries. She doesn't know why she called him but she does. He comes over and just lies with her until she falls asleep, telling her that Finn is too stupid to realize how amazing she is. She's happy she called him up.

When she wakes up in the morning, her diary is sitting on her night stand with a little post it note telling her she didn't write in it. Puck knows all about her diary and knows everything that's in it. So, she isn't mad. For some reason she doesn't know how to hide things from him. She knows that even if they didn't have sex on a regular basis they'd still be just as close as they are now. They always got along, ever since they were kids.

So, she picks up her diary, flips to the first empty page and sees a little note written in from Puck telling her that Finn's an idiot and she's super sexy. She can't help but cheer up from that. She writes in about what happened between her and Finn and then takes a shower. She can still feel him on her and she doesn't like it.

She puts on her Cheerio uniform and drives to school, Finn's standing in the parking lot when she gets there and she just walks right pass him. Puck catches up to her and she tells him to pretend he doesn't know. Puck tells him that's not going to be a problem since Finn is telling everyone that he didn't go through with it.

Santana doesn't know what to feel. She wants to be pissed but at the same time she wants to cry again. What? Is she not good enough for him to have sex with? Why would he lie about it? He catches up with her later in the day and asks her if she could just pretend.

"Yea, well, I wasn't going to tell anyone we slept together in the first place. I mean, I don't want anyone to ask about that disappointing night ever."

"Didn't sound disappointed while it was happening." He mumbles under his breath.

She almost snaps. But she does well to keep her cool. "It's called faking it. Didn't want you to think you couldn't satisfy a girl. But since you want to bring something up that we just agreed to pretend didn't happen, then let's lay it out on the table. I had to take ten showers just to get the smell of mediocrity off of me and sadly, I still reek of it. When school is dismissed, I plan on buying a lot more body wash and some new scrubbers."

Finn bites the inside of his cheek and walks away. She knows she's knocked him down a few pegs and he probably hates her even more but she really doesn't care anymore.

She overhears his conversation later with Rachel, talking about wanting to wait until he finds someone special. Such bullshit. She wants to just tell the little hobbit. But she doesn't because that would be admitting to him that what he said hurt her.


	2. More Secrets

A week passes by pretty quickly; Santana hangs out with Matt more just to feel better about herself; they don't fool around though because she feels all gross or whatever. The boy is like in love with her so she knows she doesn't have to get naked for him plus it makes her feel better that someone cares. She really doesn't know why what Finn said hurt so much but it did. Yea, no one wants to hear that after sex but it just felt even worse after how caring he was with her. If it was some douche who didn't act like she was anything important who said it she knows she wouldn't care.

But it drives her crazy; his disappointed facial expression, those words; they keep echoing in her mind. Puck notices right away. He tries to cheer her up by offering to take her to Breadstix. Quinn catches wind of the conversation and snaps right there in the hallway.

"GET YOUR OWN MAN, SANTANA!" She screams, throwing her books on the ground and shoving her into a locker.

Santana doesn't fight back but only because she has this strict rule to never hit a pregnant woman. "Q! Calm your preggers ass down. I'm not trying to get with your baby daddy."

"Then why are you two planning a date to Breadstix?"

"Because life freaking sucks right now and he wants to cheer me up."

Quinn doesn't believe it so she tags along with them. And since the whole point of going to Breadstix was to let Santana chow down on delicious food and rant about Finn being a douche, Quinn finds out (and technically Santana kept the deal she made with Finn because Puck told her on the way over). At first she seems a little mad that Santana had sex with her ex-boyfriend but then Santana reminds her that she had sex with her ex-boyfriend too. So, she stops being mad about it. And when Santana tells Quinn what Finn says she is mad again, this time at Finn. Santana is sure it's just the pregnancy hormones but Quinn is livid and starts talking about wanting to kick his ass. Yea, she even said ass which for Quinn is like…super badass. This girl never cusses.

Santana makes Quinn swear to not tell anyone and she does. So now Puck, Santana, Quinn and Finn all know about that night. She hopes no one else will find out. But then Brittany approaches her about it the next day in school. She's mad that Santana didn't tell her about it since they're best friends. Santana is a little mad but at the same time happy she can talk to Brittany about it. By the end of the week, everyone in Glee seems to know except Rachel (and that Jesse kid, who Santana still doesn't trust).

Santana was about to go off on Puck but he told her that Finn admitted it to him, Mike, Matt and Kurt during football practice (because Mike and Matt was making fun of him about being too scared to swipe the v-card) but made them promise to keep it a secret. Kurt of course told Mercedes who told Tina who told Artie and well, that's that.

It's been about two weeks since Santana and Finn had sex and she's starting to freak out a little. She hasn't had her period yet and it's never late. She tells her mom because let's face it, it's no secret she has sex and her and her mom don't keep secrets. Her mom tells her it'll be ok and that it's probably just because she got on new birth control that makes her period come less frequent.

Santana stills freaks out until three days later she starts. It's a lot lighter than her usual periods but at least she got it.

Coach Sylvester and Mr. Schuester are both being dicks to her though because she's been trying to get out of practice lately. Her back has been killing her and she really can't be doing flips and twirls with the pain that's going on with her.

It's been three weeks since the incident and she's still ignoring Finn. She has nothing to say to him and he has nothing intelligent to say to her. They're in Glee rehearsal and they are learning some new dance. Santana is having trouble with it and everyone can tell.

"Pay attention, Santana." Mr. Schuester grills her.

She puts her hands on her hips and takes a deep breath. "I'm trying." She whines. She hates that's she is on the verge of tears. "Mr. Schuester, I need to sit down. I feel sick."

"No, you're being lazy. We have only three weeks before Regionals and we need to get this done. No breaks until you get this."

"I can't do this!"

"You can't do this? Everyone else can do it! Hell, Quinn can and she's pregnant." Mr. Schuester shouts at her. "Now stop complaining and actually try for once."

"You can do this, San." She hears someone whisper. She looks at the source and it's Finn, with that dopey smile on his face, trying to encourage her. She wants to slap him.

"Ok, from the top." Mr. Schuester shouts and everyone moves back to their positions.

He claps and counts down. The music starts and so does the singing, everyone starts to do the lame steps Mr. Schuester seems to think are brilliant. Santana stumbles a little, her vision getting blurry and then her eyes rolls up into the back of her head and she falls backwards.

She wakes up lying in the nurse's office. Puck is sitting beside her and he looks a little freaked. "Hey…are you ok?" He asks when he sees that her eyes are open.

"What happened?" She asks unsure of how she got there.

"You fainted during rehearsal. Finn caught you." She rolls her eyes. "They've called an ambulance."

She sits up quickly but falls back onto the bed. "Puck…no…we have to go." She hates hospitals. They freak her out and she does not want to go to one. Well, actually, she doesn't hate them. She hates being a patient at one; or knowing a patient at one.

"They think it's because of your diet or lack of one. I tried to talk them out of it, I told them how you felt about it and no one listened. I'm sorry. But I'm going with you. You'll be ok."

So, that's how Santana ends up at the hospital. She hates it here. Her dad freaked out when he found out she was brought in and she made the orderlies kick him out of her room. He didn't like that too much. Her doctor is some lady she's met a few times, Dr. Ramsey. She's nice, kind of pretty and friendly. She comes into the room and closes the door behind her so no one can hear them.

"Got your tests back," She tells Santana, waving a little chart in the air. "Did you know you were pregnant?"

"What?" She shouts. "No, I'm not pregnant."

"That's what my chart says."

"Well, it's wrong."

"About three weeks." She informs her.

Santana starts to cry, hating this, hating Finn. "Don't tell my dad." She pleads. The doctor promises to keep it from her dad and tells him the reason she fainted was just because she hadn't eaten at all that day; Santana's idea.

She gets to go home with a doctor's note excusing her from gym, Cheerio practice and Glee dance rehearsal for the next week. The doctor also sets her up with an appointment at the OBGYN and tells her to get plenty of rest and to start eating right.

Santana has no clue what she's going to do. She's pregnant with some dick that doesn't even care about her baby. She didn't know how she was going to tell him or even if she was going to tell him. She decides to keep it a secret from everyone until she literally can't hide it anymore. She actually even thinks about trying to pin the weight gain on some lame excuse like quitting the Cheerios and just gorging herself on food in front of everyone. That way they'd think she was just getting fat and not growing a baby.

But that's stupid and she gives up on that idea. She gives everyone the same excuse she made the doctor tell her dad, not really caring what people thought about her. She makes sure she eats though so 1. People don't worry about her eating habits and 2. She wants to keep her baby healthy.

But she's not being the same Santana, she knows it, everyone else knows it. She's all moody and when someone picks a fight with her, she doesn't even push them or kick them like she usually does. She just walks away. She's trying to avoid any and all conflict knowing stress and fighting isn't good for the baby.

As soon as the week is up, Coach Sylvester is up in her shit again about being perfect. Mr. Schuester relaxes on her and doesn't push her. When she feels dizzy or sick he lets her sit down. One morning, after hurling up her breakfast, she's walking toward her locker when Puck stops her.

"Sup, Milf?" She freezes. "Wonder how many more times I'll have to say that to you Cheerios."

She finally turns to him, fake confusion on her face. "Why do you think I'm pregnant? Wait—are you calling me fat or something?"

He rolls his eyes at her. "I live with a pregnant chick. I know the signs. I'm not the dad am I? Because that would be awkward."

This time she rolls her eyes. "Ok, 1. If I were pregnant, which I'm not you couldn't be the dad since we haven't had sex in months."

"Oh my God, it's Finn's baby."

"Shut up." She hisses.

"It is! He's freaking out a little. "Are you going to tell him?"

"No." She says in a firm voice, crossing her arms over her chest. "Not like he'd care."

"San—"

"If you tell him or anyone I will end you."

"I won't."


	3. Decisions

Santana had been battling between letting everyone know that she was pregnant, lying about the father of course or just not telling anyone and insisting on moving out of state to live with her Aunt. Her kids are all pregnant so it wouldn't be a big deal with her. Plus she likes her aunt more than she likes her own parents.  
>Her aunt is laid back and nice while her parents wouldn't rest until she was perfect. They wanted a skinny, pretty daughter; one that can find a nice boy to marry and never have to lift a finger for the rest of her life. Basically, marry someone exactly like her dad and become exactly like her mother.<br>During her first visit to her OBGYN, he tells her about how to eat properly for the baby, things she should do to keep the baby healthy and of course, her plans for the baby since she is so young. When Santana tells him she doesn't know what she wants to do, he gives her a bunch of pamphlets to look through.  
>Some are about getting financial support from the state (she threw those away immediately because she refuses to be on well fair), some are about adoption agencies or finding a couple that want to adopt without an agency and the last one is abortion.<br>She planned on throwing that one away as well but then it hit her. She couldn't stay pregnant, even if she moved out of Lima to her aunt's place. No way in hell could she stay pregnant! Her parents would disown her and as much as they annoyed her at times, she loved them. Plus moving would mean leaving Brittany and Puck and she didn't want to do that. They were her friends and she couldn't leave them behind.  
>That's kind of how she decided on having an abortion. She loved her life too much to give it up. She felt like a selfish bitch but she just couldn't do it. Plus, she really isn't a mothering type and carrying around Finn's baby, knowing she means nothing to him would just kill her inside and she has a feeling it would make her hate the baby.<br>At first she was just going to do it alone, nip it in the bud. She even called up a clinic and set up an abortion for after glee rehearsal. But they told her she should bring someone with her because she'll most likely be out of it afterwards and will need someone to drive her home.  
>That's the only reason she pulls Puck aside after lunch. That and because he's kind of become her confidant in all things Finn related. Plus he's doing an awesome job keeping her secrets. So he deserves to know this. But she regrets telling him the second she does because he looks heartbroken. She doesn't like that look on his face, ever.<br>"Why does this have to be your only choice?"  
>"What other choice do I have?" She snaps.<br>"You could keep the baby or you can give him or her up for adoption."  
>"Keep the baby?" She really couldn't believe he even suggested that. "Puck, I'm not Quinn. I didn't get knocked up by some guy who loves me. Not only will my parents disown me but I'll have nowhere to go. You think Finn is going to invite me to move in with him? He hates me. To him, I'm just some bitchy slut. I can't keep the baby. I just can't be pregnant Puck." Puck moves closer to her, looking even sadder than before. "I can't do this." It's broken at best but she really doesn't care anymore. She just wants to cry. "Please don't judge me."<br>Puck starts to shush her, but in a soothing way, he wraps his arms around her and lets her cry into his chest. "Alright, I'll go with you." His voice is soft and comforting.  
>After Santana finishes up crying, they head toward class, luckily they have it together. They sit in the back, away from Brittany, Mike and Finn, speaking in hush tones. Santana tells Puck that she already made an appointment for after school. He agrees to go with her and drive her home. But first Puck will drive his truck to Santana's house that way he'll be able to drive home in his car after.<br>She tells him how she set the appointment up under a fake name that way it won't get back to her dad or mom. Her parents know like every single doctor in Lima and there is no doubt in her mind that this abortion doctor won't say something to her dad.  
>"You can't go there using Rachel's name."<br>"Why not?"  
>"San—"<br>"Already made the appointment."  
>He huffs and rolls his eyes. He knows he's lost the argument before it's even really started and thankfully he gives up.<br>The day is almost over; all that is left is the glee club meeting. She really doesn't want to go to it and watch Finn fawn all over Rachel. But she knows if she misses it she'll probably get into trouble. She's the first one there and she's about to just bail when Finn walks in and sits beside her. She can't help but roll her eyes at the stupid smile on his adorable face.  
>He obviously notices the scowl on her face because he asks, "What's wrong?"<br>"Sorry," She snaps. "Unlike you, I don't have a whole lot to be happy about. I mean, I didn't dodge the whole daddy bullet and then be able to devote my life to another girl who I wanted the whole time but now has no interest in me."  
>Finn's mood changes pretty quickly after that. "The whole baby thing still hurts, you know."<br>"Why? It's not like you loved Quinn anymore. We could all tell you wanted to be doing a lot more then singing with Rachel. I'm still a little surprised that you didn't run up and hug Puck after you found out."  
>"I'll admit that I wanted to be with Rachel but when I found out about the baby I stopped. I loved Quinn and our…I mean her baby."<br>"How can you love a fetus?"  
>He gives her this look, one that looks like he feels bad for her or something and then says, "Fetus? You sound like House."<br>"Who?"  
>"You know…that show House. There was an episode where a lady's baby was sick and House refused to call it a baby because it was unborn and then—"<br>"Stop talking." She snaps, holding her hand up to him.  
>"Sorry…but you just don't understand because you're not pregnant and you can't get anyone pregnant." She looked down, not wanting to see him after saying that. "But…that baby wasn't born nor mine. But I did love her. Something changed in me when I found out. I was freaked out but happy at the same time. I kind of wanted to be her dad."<br>She wondered how he would feel if she told him right now that she is pregnant with his baby. "Why would you want to be a dad?" She still didn't understand that part though.  
>"Because I think I would be a good dad, you know? I'm not very smart and let's face it, I'm never leaving Lima. But I think if I were a dad everything would be ok. I would love my baby and I would never let anyone or anything hurt him or her."<br>Santana bit her bottom lip; it took everything in her to not cry or tell him. "You could be good at other stuff, Finn." She didn't like him talking so low about himself.  
>He looks like he is about to stay something else but then everyone begins to file in. Kurt grabs a chair and stands up on it, looking out the window like he does almost every glee meeting. Brittany comes up and looks at Finn, frowns and bit which makes Finn get up and move to another seat. Santana can't help but be angry at Brittany. She likes when Finn sits next to her. Yea, he talks about stupid shit most of the time but it cheers her up.<br>Puck comes in and sits in front of her, Quinn beside him. Mr. Schuester walks in and starts talking about the glist. She's still pissed he thought it was her. If she made it she would have put herself as number one because let's face it, Santana is the number one badass.  
>Rachel gets up to show the bad reputation video she made. She still can't believe she helped her. Whatever, in her mind it makes them even since she's about to have an abortion under the name Rachel Berry. Finn looks a little happier as she talks about the video. Santana still doesn't know why he's all excited acting.<br>The video starts and Puck turns to her the moment he sees her as an angel. "Only time that'll happen." He whispers and she slaps his head.  
>Puck's part comes up and Santana holds back a laugh. She sees Jesse shift in his seat and Finn's smile fall. The next part is Rachel singing and almost getting run down in the hall, now Santana laughs. Then Jesse is on the screen singing. Santana's mouth opens a little and she looks at Jesse and Puck. She hears the change of voice in the film, looks back to the screen and sees Finn.<br>Jesse's arm moves away from Rachel, Finn looks hurt, Puck looks pissed and Jesse looks betrayed. It clicks in Santana's brain that Finn obviously thought he was the only guy singing in the video and that's why he looked so happy. But seeing that he was tricked is what made him look so hurt.  
>Santana wants to hit Rachel. The girl knows how Finn feels about her and she pulls this shit. She's happy Finn doesn't just lie down and take this. She watches Finn run out, followed by Jesse. Mr. Schuester says the meeting is over and everyone hangs around a bit to gossip. Santana taps Puck on the shoulder and they both sneak away.<br>She tells him she wants to change out of her Cheerio's uniform first, not wanting anyone to know what school she goes to. So, she goes into the bathroom and changes into a simple, white dress while Puck goes to his truck. When she walks out, she sees Finn angrily stuffing books into his locker.  
>She doesn't know what possesses her but she walks over to him and leans against the locker. "Are you ok?"<br>He does a double take when he sees her, his lips twitch a little, like he wants to smile but can't find it in himself to do it. "Yea…it just sucks…you know. I thought her wanting me to do that video meant she was into me but obviously not."  
>"How can you even like someone like her? She's annoying, loud, and selfish."<br>"You and Puck are dating but he's kind of a douche. Plus he has another girl pregnant."  
>"Dating? What?"<br>He leans into her a little. "I saw you two after lunch, trying to hide it, talking all close and hugging. Look you're secret is safe with me. I owe you one anyways."  
>"Finn, we're not dating."<br>"Sure, you're not."  
>"We're not. He's really into Quinn. And we were talking about—"She can't think of a good lie. She even almost slipped and said 'the baby.' "Well, that's personal but we're not together."<br>He doesn't look like he believes her. "Why did you change out of your uniform?"  
>"I have to go somewhere like…right now and I can't wear it."<br>"Well, you look beautiful."  
>That's the second time she's ever been called beautiful in her life and both times have been by Finn. Does he not realize what he does to her? Or is he actually really smart and just playing dumb as some cruel joke. She just smiles lightly at him and puts her hand on his arm, gives it a light squeeze and walks away.<br>She wanted to do some much more. Maybe hug him, or even kiss him if she was bold enough. Something about Finn makes her nervous and she really doesn't like it. He's always doing stuff or saying stuff that makes her want to cry. And not just like she's upset type of cry, but happy cry or emotional overload cry. She hates it.  
>Santana gets out to her car and follows Puck to her home in Lima Heights. Yea, that neighborhood is bad and all but her house is really nice. It's like the rich part of the ghetto. Her dad is super loaded and wanted to show it off but at the same time stay close to her poor members of her family so this is how he did it. He bought a bunch of land and built a pretty big house. Santana thinks it's stupid but whatever.<br>Puck parks against the curb and comes around to her car. The moment he's inside, Santana is pulling away. She just wants to get this over with and never think or talk about it again. Puck is keeping quiet though and she can tell by his expression he doesn't like this at all.  
>"Finn thinks we're dating." She says, wanting to fill the awkward silence.<br>"He's stupid."  
>"Are you ok?" She asks, since his voice sounds all pissy.<br>"Rachel is a bitch."  
>Santana laughs a little. "Why are you so mad?"<br>"I don't like being tricked and you know…I thought she was into me."  
>Santana almost slams on the breaks when he says that. "I thought you loved Quinn."<br>"I do! But she barely even lets me hold her hand. She tells me at least three times a day she hates me. I'm just so sick of it and if Rachel was into me…it would have been a nice distraction."  
>"You can't keep thinking like that. You need to actually commit to Quinn. Let her know you love her." Puck looks a little amused by this so she slaps his arm. "I'm serious! She needs to know that you won't hook up with a bunch of girls like you use to."<br>"I know, I know. You're right. But she won't give me a chance. I just…I really want to be a good dad. She's not born yet but I love her."  
>When Puck said that, her conversation with Finn came back to her mind. The way his eyes looked all light and happy when he spoke about how he thought he'd be a good dad was burning into her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about it.<br>They were about ten minutes away from the clinic when she pulled over and started to tear up. "I can't do it." She said, her voice cracking a little. She put her hand on her still flat stomach and looked at Puck. "I can't kill my baby."  
>Puck grabbed her hand and they just sat in the car for a little bit, not talking. She could tell by the way Puck looks that he is happy she changed her mind. She's happy she did too. Finn might not love her and her parents might disown her. But she'll love her baby with all her heart, she already does.<br>"Are you going to tell him?" Puck asks as they make the drive back to Santana's house; when she doesn't answer his question, Puck's whole mood changes. She can tell without even looking at him that his expression is showing disappointment and anger. "You're really going to keep this from him? What are you going to say when you get bigger?"  
>"I hooked up with some random and he's the father. I can't even remember his name so there is no way I can contact him."<br>"That'll make you sound like a slut."  
>"People already think that."<br>"I wonder how everyone will feel when they find out you've only had sex with three guys."  
>"They won't believe you." She says, glancing over at him. "Because I'm Santana Lopez the super slut, remember." Puck rolls his eyes and the awkward silence comes back to them. She really hates this. "Look, I'm going to give it up for adoption, why involve Finn in this if he has no say in what happens?"<br>"Whatever."  
>She makes a whining noise because she really hates that one of her best friends is judging her for this. He should understand her reasoning, given he was the one cheering her up after her and Finn had sex. He knows how bad Finn hurt her and how much she cried over him. He really shouldn't be taking his side for this. <p>


	4. Summer

It's been a few weeks since Santana found out she was pregnant. Jesse has been hanging out his friends from Carmel High ever since the whole Run Joey Run disaster. She can't really blame him for not wanting to be around Rachel after that but Santana has a bad feeling about him being all buddy-buddy with the Vocal Adrenalin people.

This week, Schuester wanted them to do Lady Gaga. Santana was totally excited and worked super hard on her costume. Everyone said she looked super sexy in her lace Gaga costume. Everyone but Puck, that is. He patted her belly and said, 'It's growing.' To which she responded by threatening to cut his dick off.

Rachel looks a hot mess though, as usual. But she doesn't even comment because she has a feeling it would be way to mean. Her baby hormones are making her even bitchier. Thankfully, Brittany makes fun of her and Santana loves that Brittany did that. She's usually all about being nice or whatever.

After the girls and Kurt's performance, Santana sits by herself in the theatre, just wanting to be alone for a little bit. But it doesn't last because Finn shows up. He looks like he's setting something up on stage. She tries to stay quiet and just watch him but he eventually sees her.

"Hey." He calls out and she waves in response. "You look like a present." She laughs a little and shakes her head. "You know, because of the bow."

"Yea, I got it." He hops off the stage and walks over to her. "What are you doing?"

"Us guys are going to do our own little number. Everyone else is supposes to be here helping but no one has shown up yet." She nods, understanding now why he was in here. "How are you and Puck?"

"Seriously, we're not dating."

"Well, you got this happy glow about you so there must be someone. So…?"

"Look, you and I don't hang out and talk about relationships. Ok? And we're not going to start. So stop trying to be all friendly with me and remember that this." She points to herself, "Means nothing to you." She gets up and leaves the theatre, feeling a little bad. But she was sick of him acting like they could be friends after what happened between them, after what he said.

Santana has to admit that she is really impressed by the boys' Kiss performance. They all look super adorable in their costumes and she loves Puck's comment about his whore lips. Of course he'd pick the one with the whore lips.

And then Puck does the best thing ever, he sings Beth to Quinn. Santana is so proud of him. She can tell Quinn is now willing to give him a real chance at this relationship thing. She does however want to hug Finn for being strong enough to sing with Puck to Quinn and their baby girl. That was really mature of him.

Santana knew it. She told everyone he was a spy and yea, maybe he wasn't passing information back to his stupid friends but Jesse St. James just Jesse St. Fucked up. But the week gets worse, Coach Sylvester stops showing up for school and she's freaking out. She's pretty sure the baby has something to do with why she's walking around the hallway, crying but she's just so depressed feeling lately.

Nothing seems right in the world. Her parents have even started to notice her change in mood and body. She was shopping with her mom, trying on some new shorts for when the weather warms up over summer. She couldn't fit in her usual sizes and her mom said something about her getting on some diet pills or something. She's freaking out and doesn't want them to know yet. But she's starting to think she'll have to come clean soon.

"Hey! I'm going to cheer you up in Glee today." Puck whispers to her as he shuttles her into the choir room.

"You're going to carry the baby for me?"

"No…just…watch."

She sighs and takes her seat, her hair is a mess and she notices for the first time that Puck and Finn are wearing matching outfits. The music start and they being to sing some old school rap song. She has to admit, it does cheer her up.

Finn is adorable; she can't take her eyes off of him. She almost misses when Puck does the cry baby and she remembers when they were kids and he would always do that. She gets pissed when Mr. Schuester totally tells them they didn't actually do their assignment correctly. She wants to scratch his eyes out.

Later that week, they come up with a number to get back at Jesse and his drones. Santana has to admit the whole week cheered her up. They won Nationals, her secret is safe, Vocal Adrenalin is spooked and everyone is pumped for Regionals. Though during the funk number, Artie did make a joke about her dancing and how he can dance better and he's in a chair. She almost knocked him out of it.

"I found the perfect dresses for Regionals." Rachel announces during Monday's Glee meeting. "They will hide the baby bump perfectly." She continues on, handing a picture of the dresses to Santana.

At first she thought she was caught because she was looking at her but then she realized she meant Quinn's baby bump. After that was cleared up, Santana relaxed and actually checked the dresses out. She liked them and was all for it.

She was really excited and nervous for this competition. She knew the other teams were really good and she knew that Coach Sylvester was a judge and she was just nervous as hell. And on top of it she felt like her heart was breaking all over again. She saw Rachel kiss Finn.

He was finally getting what he so desperately wanted and it killed her. She tried her best to not think about it though. Just focus on the positive. Everyone but Rachel and Finn stayed on stage behind the screen. She could hear Finn and Rachel start the song and her heart jumped a little. They were amazing. Finn really was talented and for him to think he couldn't do anything good besides being a father is just stupid.

As they sing, she spots Jesse standing off in the wings, looking through the cracks and into the theatre. Santana narrows his eyes at him and walks over to him, and just starts to slap him. After a few seconds of her slapping him and him trying to stop her hands, she finally let her hands fall to the side.

"You're an asshole."

"I know." He actually sounds sad.

"I don't get you. You said you loved her. That's not something you should lie about."

"I wasn't lying. She hurt me and I wanted to go back to Carmel and the only way I could gain their trust back was to do that. I feel awful about it and I hate myself for it."

"Why should I believe you?"

"I'm sure you know how it is to be in love with someone who does nothing but brings you pain."

Santana looks him over and she prides herself on being a good judge of character and something about him makes her want to trust him. But she doesn't say she does. She just walks away from him and takes her place back on the stage. She sees him sneak away to the green room and the curtain comes up.

They sing the two other Journey songs, doing the lame dance moves Mr. Schuester came up with. She knows it's personally catered to Finn and his dancing needs but they could be a little better. They do amazing and everyone cheers them on. It seems pretty obvious that they'll place here tonight.

Not a minute after getting backstage does Quinn go into labor. Everyone wants to go with her to make sure she's ok and what not. Santana wants to go as moral support for Puck. Rachel volunteers to hang back so she can tell them when they need to get back to the theatre to announce the winners.

Puck abandons her to go into the room and she's forced to sit in the waiting room with the others. Brittany tries to get her to go find the stork room and honestly, Santana isn't in the mood to explain to her how babies are made.

Santana can't help but think about how nice it was of Puck to want to be in the room when Beth is born. She sees Finn and decides it's now or never. She goes over to him and sits in the seat beside him. He immediately looks at her. They haven't talked really since she told him off in the theatre.

"Hey." She says in a small voice. He smiles at her and sits up a little. "You were really good tonight." She's stalling and she knows it.

He smiles at her. "I told Rachel I loved her tonight." It was totally random and she wishes it didn't happen.

But it did and Santana can literally feel her heart breaking, "How can you tell if you love her or not? You two haven't known each other for that long."

He shakes his head at her. "I just know. I want to be with her and tonight I finally got to tell her how I feel. I think she loves me back."

He gets up from his chair and starts pacing along the room with Mr. Schuester. Santana gets up and goes into the bathroom to cry, which she hates. After the baby is born, they rush back to the theatre and stand on stage together, they listen for their club to be called as a winner but it doesn't. Everyone knows what this means and they are all heartbroken.

They sing some song at the final Glee club meeting, wanting to remember, to cherish the memories. Santana can't help but notice how happy Finn and Rachel seem to be after the song is over. She has that heartbroken feeling again and she wants to cry. Thankfully Puck is there for her and is trying to help her get through it.

"He's an idiot."

She's actually crying now. "So is Quinn." She knows all about Puck admitting he loves Quinn and how she still gave their baby up and how she just left him and told him they couldn't be together now that the baby is gone from their lives. "We deserve better."

Puck makes a small laughing noise but when she looks up at him she can see that he wants to cry as well. "And hotter," He jokes, making her laugh a little.

At the last Glee meeting, Puck is sitting in front with his guitar. She doesn't know why until Mr. Schuester gives them the good news and has Puck come down and sing with him. She's so happy that they get another year. Because really, Glee is the best part of her day and she actually likes these losers.

She's also happy because earlier that day, before school, her parents told her they were going to be gone pretty much all summer; which means, Santana can get fat and have her baby, give it up for adoption and get thin again before they come back from Mexico and before school starts again.

Even more good news, she found out the sex of the baby. It's a little boy. She imagines him having tan skin like hers and Finn's adorable, dreamy eyes. She doesn't like thinking about it but she can't really help it. She thinks about finally confessing to Finn but every time she sees him, he's with Rachel and then the whole 'hide it from him' plan comes back to her.

She's about eighteen weeks when it happens. The day starts out like any other. Her mom calls her and tells her not to sleep her summer away. Even in Mexico, her mom still tries to control her life. She eats breakfast and then calls Puck up, begging him to take her into the next town to get bigger clothes.

When they get to the mall, her back is killing her and they both think it's from her sitting in his uncomfortable bucket seats. They make plans to stop on the way back to get one of those heat pads for her back.

The whole time she's in the mall, Puck is all mopey. He talks about how Quinn would never let him do this with her and he feels more like the father of Santana's baby than his own. She tries to snap him out of it by getting him a giant pretzel from the food court; it sort of works.

He teases her about the baby doll dresses because it's anything but her style. But she thinks it's perfect because she can wear it now and then again after giving birth and they won't be too big on her. So, no one will know. He still laughs though and ok, they aren't her style but damn, she can't wear tight dresses when she's pregnant!

"I bet the baby is going to be like…super huge like Finn."

"Shut it, Puckerman. I'm already nervous that the baby is going to kill me when it comes out I don't need the thought of a giant baby killing me."

They're laughing and walking toward the exit when Santana feels the sharp pain in her stomach. It's so hard that it almost knocks her over and she has to grab Puck to stay standing.

"Are you ok?"

She shakes her head, feeling the sharp pain again. She feels the tears stinging her eyes as she almost falls over again.

Puck rushes her to the hospital and she's thankful he was with her today. The pain shoots through her every ten minutes. The man who checks her vitals and checks the baby isn't her doctor, but this isn't her hospital either. After seems like forever, the doctor tells her what's wrong.

She hates hospitals, and this just gives her another reason why. She's crying into her hands, Puck is rubbing her back while the doctor tells her it's not her fault the baby died. That she's young and it just happens a lot; especially when there is history of miscarriages in the family; which she doesn't understand what the means.

She doesn't care though. Her baby died and she hates herself now. She's happy she never told Finn because he'd hate her even more if he found out she accidentally killed their baby. She gets some number from the doctor for group therapy for girls who had miscarriages.

Puck takes her back to Lima and stays with her almost every night until her parents get back. She's really thankful for Puck and how he is being such a good friend to her. Quinn really is stupid for not giving him a real chance.

Her parents get back a few weeks before school starts back up. Santana decides to catch up on her tanning since she hadn't done a whole lot over summer. She's lying out in the back yard by the pool when he mother finally puts down her magazine and talks to her.

"Honey, what's wrong with your breasts?"

Santana's eyes open up and she looks mortified. "Why would you ask me that?" She feels ugly and is trying to cover her chest up.

"Well, I've never noticed until now that one is larger than the other."

Her dad laughs from where he is standing behind the grill. "Honey, all girls' breasts are like that."

Santana is so embarrassed by this conversation. "Yes, I know that. But Santana's are like really off. One looks like a full C and the other an A."

Santana can admit that her boobs did change when she was pregnant but she really hasn't notice that big a difference. Her dad comes over and looks at her chest and she feels really uncomfortable. "Huh." He says. "Well, we can have that fixed."

She undergoes the breast implant surgery really only because her parents want her to be as perfect as possible. Plus she doesn't want to be having sex with some guy and they notice it too. She feels super self-conscience about them at first and she's embarrassed when Puck sees her the first time since she had the surgery.

But like a real guy, he loves them; which he tells her as he has his lips against them and his hands pulling at her pants. Santana misses this, not caring and just fooling around. And so does Puck. She's also happy that she doesn't have to worry about getting pregnant with Puck since he had a vasectomy but she forces him to wear a condom anyways.

She thinks she's over Finn until the first day of school. She's filing her nails down, Quinn is talking about how she gave up for baby, Brittany talks about being lost in the sewers and Jewfro is filming her boobs. Everything is back to normal. But then she sees Finn and Rachel strolling down the hall hand in hand and it literally makes her want to vomit, or cry. She hasn't decided yet.


	5. Fight for you

Santana spent a good bulk of the school year ignoring Finn. Other than a few quips at his physique or making fun of Rachel, she hadn't really said anything to him. That was until his mom and Kurt's dad was getting married. Santana still wasn't sure how Kurt was able to put this whole wedding together in just a week. When he cousin got married she was literally planning for a whole year.

She of course knew all about the wedding before Kurt and Finn announced it to the glee club. It's not her fault her locker is only a row away from his. She didn't get why Finn was looking all freaked about it. She would kill to have a family like that. The last time her parents hugged her was when she was…actually…she can't remember if they've ever actually hugged her in a way that didn't make her feel like dying inside. So, yea, she'd trade places with Finn in a heartbeat.

But she didn't say anything; she didn't want to seem like a stalker. She feigned surprised when they made the announcement, she made some quip about her people always being cheap labors for the whitey and then she offered her congratulations to Carole and Burt.

For some odd reason, Carole asked her to help her out during the wedding. She didn't want to be mean and say no so she ended up going to dress fittings with Carole. She said she just needed an actual girl's opinion and she still hadn't forgiven Quinn and Rachel talked too much.

Santana couldn't help but ask why not Mercedes, Tina or Brittany to which she answered, she's the only girl Finn ever talks about beside Quinn and Rachel. Santana was afraid that meant he talks badly about her and she felt the urge to ask but she decided against it.

Kurt had the final say on the dress and he ended up loving it. The day of, Santana helped Carole get ready; she did her hair and make-up and then went to go make sure Puck was ready for their little dance number. Though their part was pretty small, she still wanted to look good.

On her way, she saw Finn attempting to put his tie on. She watched him for a few seconds, shaking her head at him before walking in. He looked a little surprised, maybe scared to see her. But he soon gave her a small smile.

"Huh…I never learned how to tie a tie."

He was seriously pathetic sometimes but she couldn't help but smile at him. "Sit down, Frankenteen." She was a bit surprised that he did what she said. She knelt down in front of him and began to fix his tie for him. "I'm guessing you know that you're losing it. I mean, Sam is clearly the new Glee favorite; he's going to become starting quarterback…"

"What's your point?" He cut her off.

"My point is that you need a coolness injection. If you were honest and told people that we did it last year, you would go from uncool to Chilly Willy in a heartbeat." Honestly, she just wanted him to admit it. It killed her inside that he would lie about something that huge, like she was some awful secret that no one should ever find out about.

"Maybe. But I can't do that."

Now she was mad. "Why not?"

He explained to her about how Rachel confessed that she and Jesse didn't sleep together. Well, damn. Now Santana was pissed even more. "If she found out, she'd break up with me."

"And this would be bad because…?" She didn't know who was talking anymore, it definitely wasn't Santana.

"Because I love her and I don't want to hurt her feelings." His tone made it worse.

"Ok, don't you see that midget is like an anchor dragging you down to the depths of Loserville?"

"Oh, stop it, Santana." She didn't like the way he said her name, it sounded too hateful to her. "That's my girlfriend. I think you should leave."

Santana stood up, feeling hate toward Finn, Rachel and herself. "All right. Well, maybe I'll tell her. I mean, if you two broke up we'd be free to see each other, right?"

The way Finn looked at her made her nervous, she felt way too vulnerable in the moment and was actually happy Rachel came in. "Hey." She said in a small voice. "What are you guys doing?"

She saw the fear in Finn's eyes and knew she couldn't say anything. "Nothing. I was just leaving." She turned around and walked away. But she didn't actually leave. She hid on the other side of the wall and hoped to God he'd admit the truth.

But instead she heard him call Rachel amazing and tell her he loves her. Thankfully, she found Puck after that and he was there to be her rock. He kept her entertained the whole night, dancing with her, giving her little kisses, he even gave her his cake because he knows how much she loved Red Velvet.

But a week after the wedding, Santana snapped. She just couldn't help it.

Mr. Schuester had just announced that Mike and Brittany were going to have an awesome dance number and instead of Rachel being happy for them like everyone else she made a comment about them dancing in front of her during her solo. She just wanted to beat her with a chair.

And then instead of being happy for Sam and Quinn, she insulted them. On top of that, she got Finn involved and his dumbass started to spout off about not taking the star quarterback out just before the big game.

She loved Tina so much in this moment for calling him out. "Easy to say when you're the star quarterback."

"This isn't just about me, this is about the team."

Bull shit. "You're such a hypocrite."

"Like you even know what that means."

And now Snix came out to play. "It means you're boyfriend is full of crap, Hobbit."

"You know what, ever since the wedding you've been up my butt and I'm sick of it."

"Come on, Rachel. She's not worth it."

Santana heard that and it hurt her, and Snix did what she did best and began to protect Santana. "Oh, Really? 'Cause that's not what you thought last year in that motel room. That's right, Yentl, your sweetheart—he's been lying to you. 'Cause he and I totally got it on last year." It wasn't until after it came out that she saw how upset Finn looked. She actually wished she could just grab her words out of the air and take them back.

But as the week went on, Santana decided to use this little confession as a way to mess with Rachel. She kept checking Finn out, blowing kisses at him and telling Rachel little details of their night together. She was actually surprised by how cool Finn was acting. He didn't yell at her for messing things up with Rachel.

And he kept smiling at her and checking her out. Especially during her solo, he could barely keep his eyes off of her. She kind of liked it.

And then it happened. She was just walking with Puck, minding her own business when she heard Finn say, "What you did was really bad Rachel. And you know how sensitive I would be about this after what happened with Quinn."

She looked at Puck and he immediately looked away. His expression was filled with sadness and she knew he felt bad about something. "What did you do?"

"Rachel wanted me to have sex with her." He whispered to her, trying to push her into an empty classroom.

"Puck!"

"I didn't. I stopped it before it happened."

She saw Rachel putting her face into her hands and begins crying, Finn shoving past a bunch of people to probably go have a good cry himself. Santana ran after him but before she caught up to him, he was in his truck. She knows he saw her as he pulled out of his space. Their eyes connected and he gave her this expression that made her want to die a little.

Santana did her best to forget about that look but every time she saw Finn, it was all she could think about. Even if he was smiling at her, she still saw that look of hate, of regret. She wanted to do everything in her power to make him not hate her.

That's why when he brought that dopey looking tree to the choir room did she suggest stealing stuff from her dead neighbor's house. No one seemed game because it was a crime scene but she convinced Finn to go with her. He loved Christmas too much to say no.

But he was too scared to go inside so she ended up being the one getting all of the decorations out of her neighbor's house.

"So, you live there?" He asked, pointing to her home before they pulled away and went back to school. She nodded a little. "Big house. Do you have a big family?"

"No…it's just my parents and me but they like to go on vacation a lot."

"They leave you all along in this neighborhood?" She nodded again. "If you ever don't want to be alone you can come ov—"

"I use to being alone." She cut him off, slouched in the seat and looked out the window.

He didn't try to talk to her anymore on the way back to school. She was kind of thankful for that.

The week was going pretty great, minus the fact that her best friend believed in Santa and she had to go and sit on some creepy old dude's lap who totally got a hard on while she was telling "Santa" what she wanted for Christmas.

She honestly didn't see what the big deal was when it came to Christmas. Her parents never lied to her about Santa and they don't do decorations. Her parents give them their credit card and let her have a spending limit up to five hundred dollars and then they go on vacation while she spends the two weeks winter break to just hanging out by herself.

But Finn seemed to really like it. It was hard to not notice how happy he was getting to decorate and sing little Christmas carols. And she could also tell how sad he was when everything was stolen from the Choir room.

That was the only reason she was so willing to chop her hair off. She wishes she got one of her dad's watches so Finn didn't have to give up his dad's. She hated that the only thing he had from the man was about to be donated. Yea, it was for a good cause but still. That's one of the reasons she was so thankful Mr. Schuester came in and stopped them.

Everything began to look up from then on. The teachers donated a bunch of money and even Coach Sue decided to be nice to them. She called all the Cheerios into her office and instructed them to get some money for the same charity as the Glee Club. And then she asked her, Quinn and Brittany to help her break into Schue's house with the other Glee members.

Santana didn't trust her at first but Brittany said that Santa might have made Sue a better person and that we should just do it. So, they did and Santana was actually happy about it. Everyone had a lot of fun and Mr. Schuester seemed super happy.

And Santana being Santana couldn't resist going through Mr. Schuester's drawers and closet. She learned that he was a boxer man and that he had way more vest then she thought was even possible. Finn caught her in the room and it made it really awkward.

"What are you doing…?" She closed one of the drawers that she was going through and turned slowly to Finn. "You don't like have a weird crush on Mr. Schuester, do you?" She scowled at him a little. "Or wait…is Sue making you do this?"

"No. Shut up." She said, shaking her head, walking out of them room. He grabbed her by the arm and spun her around to face him. "What?"

His eyes lifted up and she followed them to the ceiling. Someone had placed mistletoe there and they were both standing right under it. She looked back a little and noticed that someone put mistletoe all over the hallway ceiling so even if she pulled away, she would still be under it.

"We kind of have to kiss." He said, pulling her closer to him. "It's like a Christmas law." She laughed at him but soon her laughter was silenced by his lips. For a few seconds she forgot that they were standing outside of their teacher's bedroom, kissing. But then they heard someone coming and both quickly pulled away from each other. "We should probably get back." He said, licking his lips.

"Yea…but like separately." He gave her this confused look so she pointed at the other mistletoe. "We'd have to keep stopping to kiss." He laughed a little and she wiggled out of his arms, leaving him in the hall alone.

It's felt like forever since Finn kissed her in the hallway. Sue tried to blow Brittany up, Finn convinced her, Brittany and Quinn to quit the Cheerios, Puck's been kind of an ass to her since Sectionals. Like, he won't hang out with her anymore and whenever she calls him to talk he tells her he can't and hangs up. It's starting to piss her off because she was pretty sure that they were dating again.

Or at least that's how she saw it. They went out on dates all the time and had a lot of sex together. She told everyone they were dating and he never seemed to correct her. But now it was Valentine's Day and she was sitting pretty much alone while Puck was all next to Lauren freaking Zizes, giving her some lame puppy dog look.

Mr. Schuester was talking about everyone singing a love song to a partner. Santana had the perfect song in her mind to sing to Puck and she was actually really excited for this week's lesson. But then Finn's ass got up and started to speak about setting up a kissing booth and raising money for the Glee Club; which really bothered Santana because even though she was dating Puck, she didn't want other girls kissing Finn.

"I've kissed Finn and can I just say? Not worth a buck. I would however pay a hundred bucks to jiggle one of his man boobs."

"Do you ever get tired of tearing other people down?"

"No, not really."

"Cause you always just seem to be meddling in everyone else's business."

"Oh, please. You guys love me. I keep it real and I'm hilarious."

"Actually, you're just a bitch." Zizes said out of nowhere.

Everyone was laughing. "Whoa, ok. I'm sorry. You've just got eyes for my man."

"Ok, first of all, I'm not your man." Ouch. That hurt.

"And Finn's right. All you ever do is insult us. Three weeks ago you said you were disappointed that I didn't have a lizard baby." Quinn butted in.

"Five minutes ago you said Mr. Schue belonged in a twelve step program."

Damn Tina and her big mouth. "Wait, what?" She didn't like her teacher giving her that look.

"You're addicted to vest." She said with a little shrug. God, these people don't know jokes.

"The truth is, Santana, you can dish it out, but you can't take it. Ok, maybe you're right. Maybe I am destined to play the title role in the Broadway musical version of Willow," Santana actually meant that as a compliment, well, sort of. "But the only job you're going to have is working on a pole."

And no one stood up for her. They just oohed and laughed. "Fine." She grabbed her bag and left the room.

"Santana…" She heard Mr. Schuester call to her, though he didn't actually sound like he wanted to stop her.

Santana didn't get very far from the choir room before she broke down and started to cry. Thankfully, Brittany was there and tried to comfort her. Things were getting worse and worse in the week. She stupidly called her mom and told her what happened and she told her to just do what she does when she's mad at her father. Buy herself something and make him pay her back for it.

So, she went to Jared's and bought a necklace, showed Puck the receipt only for him to once again turn her down. And then Zizes came over and she couldn't keep her mouth shut. She ended up being thrown against the lockers. Coach Beiste had to take her to the nurses' office.

Puck came to check on her which only made her feel worse.

"Leave me alone, Puck." She snapped.

"Why are you trying to fight Lauren?"

"Why did you totally ditch me for her?"

"Santana, we both know whatever was going on between us was just until someone else came along."

Seriously, ouch. What the hell? "You could have had the decency to tell me in private. Not ignore me and my phone calls then act like an ass to me in school. I thought we were friends."

"We are."

"No, we're not. You didn't even stand up for me in Glee."

"Well, you kind of are a bitch."

"And do you agree with Berry? That I'm going to end up a stripper?"

He didn't say anything and she just jumped off the stupid little bed and just went home for the rest of the day. The next day, she was just really depressed. But then she found a way to make her week better. Revenge, revenge on Finn for leading the 'Let's hate Santana' parade, revenge on Quinn for going along with it even though they're supposes to be best friends and then she'd be able to get a boyfriend and show everyone that she could have love too.

She changed into her volunteer outfit, which she knew from the moment the old man at the hospital gave it to her it was just because she was hot and no one could resist her when she wears it. She found the kid with mono, kissed him to get his germs and then marched up to Finn.

He happily ignored the actual paying customers to make out with her. She didn't want to stop though once it got started. But he pushed her away and looked at her with that dopey grin on his face and repeated 'whoa' a couple of times.

"Sorry about that. I couldn't help myself. If I have anything I hope it's not contagious." She wanted him to know that it was her who got him and Quinn into trouble.

"But what? What?" He'll find out soon.

And of course her plan worked. Quinn and Finn both got mono. But Sam was too stupid to put two and two together. She decided to work on him at the little party Kurt invited her to. They started to night sitting at different tables, smiling and looking at each other but eventually he came over to sit with her.

They ended up staying until closing, just talking and laughing. She was actually having fun with him. But the next week, Quinn was back and already covering her track up. Sam actually believed her and Santana just needed to get him to stop being an idiot. She actually felt bad for him. He was sweet and he needed someone better then Quinn.

But he wouldn't believe her either. "I know you're as dumb as a bag of wet hair, but you know in your heart she's lying. That gumball story was insane! You're choosing to believe it so you can still be with her, but consider my offer: Not only am I giving you full visitation rights to the set of rambunctious twins that live on my ribcage, you also get the chance to show that pastry bag Finn that he can't mess with Sam Evans — and not just because you can unlock your humongous jaw and swallow him whole like a python, but because you have some buzz at this school!"

She knew she had him then. She would show them all that a sweet guy like Sam could like her. In Glee, she sat beside him, draping a leg over him a bit and fixing his hair. "After school, you should come over. We can get to know each other better."

"I thought this was just to make Quinn see how stupid she was."

"Yea…but that doesn't mean we can't hang out when she's not around."

It took a little more convincing, but Sam came over and they just hung out. Santana ordered them some pizza and he popped in Avatar, though she didn't want to watch that at all. She's already seen it and wasn't that impressed. But Sam loves it and saw that she owned it and she couldn't resist the face he made.

After they ate and the movie ended, they went up to her room and just made out. She was surprised that Sam kept his hands on her hips, not moving them to her ass or up to her breasts. He also wasn't trying to pull her clothes off or trying to get her wet by grinding his hips into her.

But that didn't stop her from trying to get him naked, which he just wasn't having. He started to come over every day after school and they would just eat dinner together, watch some television and then go to her room to make out.

Every day she would attempt to have sex with him but the furthest she got was going down on him. Which she could tell by his reaction was the first time that ever happened; which told her he was a virgin. And when she asked him about it, he didn't try to hide it.

Santana somehow talked Sam into letting her take his virginity after Rachel's party. He said he wanted to lose it and he figured since they were dating it could be her. Plus, he really did like her. She was excited that Sam said he liked her. This time when she took someone's virginity it wouldn't end up with her crying into her pillows.

But as the party went on, Santana had a feeling she wouldn't be sleeping with anyone. She was totally wasted and Sam made her mad by making out with Brittany. She knew it was for Spin the Bottle but he was all smiley afterwards. That didn't stop her from crawling onto his lap and making out with him during Blaine and Rachel's song.

She noticed that Sam was getting more and more comfortable with her. When they first kissed, he kept his hands in one spot. Now, he liked to touch her all over, smack her ass, when she rolled her hips again him, he would buck his up against hers.

But she got to the point where Sam told her they couldn't have sex. He said it wouldn't be right and it made her cry. Finn took Sam home and Santana just stayed at Rachel's house, making fun of all the creepy pictures her parents had painted of her.

Finally, Finn came back to Rachel's to take her home. She was the last one to go and Kurt didn't have to drive behind Finn in her car since Sam was the one who brought her to the party. Finn had to help her into the car because she was too drunk to do it herself. He also had to help her up to her room.

"Stop spinning me." She whined, hitting him as he tried to take her heels off for her.

He laughed a little and tossed her shoes off to the side. Just then he saw her hand move up to her mouth and she stood up, walking toward another room. She almost tripped so Finn grabbed her and got her to the bathroom as fast as possible.

He held her hair back and she began to vomit into the toilet. After a little bit, he thought she was done and he flushed the toilet for her, grabbed a wash cloth out of the little closet inside the bathroom, got it wet and started to clean her up.

But she went for another round after a few seconds. Finn stayed with her, patting her back, holding her hair, flushing the toilet and cleaning her up after every single time she threw up. When she finally seemed well enough, he helped her brush her teeth (she refused to go to bed before her teeth were clean) and then carried her to her bed.

"God, I haven't barfed this much since I was pregnant." She mumbles to herself, obviously forgetting that Finn's in the room with her.

He watches her carefully, kind of hoping she'd say something else because he's about 100% sure that Santana's never been pregnant. He would have known given the fact that they've been in school together since the sixth grade.

She lazily reaches over to her night stand and pulls out a purple book; Finn continues to watch her as she attempts to write something onto a blank page. He noticed after a few seconds it's the days date and it hits him that this is Santana's diary.

She finally gives up and sighs, whispering, "Too drunk for this shit." and tosses the book onto the ground. She turned over onto her stomach and almost instantly falls asleep.

Finn doesn't know what possess him but he picks up the diary and begins to flip through it. He closes it after he reads an entry about Santana having a girl go down on her the first time and feels really bad for reading personal things about her.

He's about to leave when the book begins to pretty much call to him. So, he picks it up again and just begins to flip through the pages, picking up little words like 'sex' and 'tubbers' but then he sees 'Finn' and he stops.

His name is written at the top of a page in Puck's handwriting, saying that he's stupid and Santana is sexy. He thinks that's a weird way to start an entry and the fact that it's in Puck's handwriting is even weirder. But then he continues to read on and realizes why it started out this way.

He can't help but feel like an ass as he reads how hurt Santana was. He wants to wake her up and tell her it was a lie and that she does mean something to him and he's sorry for saying that. But he figures she'll be pissed if she finds out he read her diary so he doesn't.

He doesn't stop at that entry; he keeps going, reading about things she wanted to kill Finn with, insults she thought about trying out on him. Basically, her diary turned into a big 'I hate Finn' book. But then he saw and entry that refreshed his memory.

It was the day she fainted and he caught her. He remembers it so well because he was pretty much freaking out enough for the whole entire school. He thought Santana like had a heart attack that day. But it turned out to just be because she didn't eat.

Or at least that's what he thought until he read the line that said, "Apparently a symptom of being pregnant with an idiot's baby is fainting." He got pissed, thinking that Puck had knocked both Quinn and Santana up right around the same time. But then he saw the next line. "What am I going to do? Finn doesn't even want people to know we've had sex and now I'm pregnant with his stupid fetus?"

His whole world just crashed down around him. He couldn't believe it. He's a father? But wait…where is his child? He flips the pages over until he sees the thing he was dreading.

"Abortion, it's the only smart thing to do in this situation."

He snaps the book shut and throws it across the room before storming out of Santana's house. He's so pissed at her. How could she do this? Kill his baby? Their baby! Ok, he gets that she thought he hated her but why didn't he get a say in this? It was his kid too!

The following Monday at school he approaches her about it. Or well, corners her in the empty choir room.

"I knew you were a lot of things, Santana. But I never thought you'd be the bitch who would keep something that huge from me." He snaps at her the moment she walks in. He's happy they're alone.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know…our child."

Her eyes go wide and he knows she won't be able to deny it. He's happy she doesn't try. "Did Puck tell you?"

"No…your fucking journal did!"

"You read my journal!" She snaps.

He's steaming now, he kicks over a chair. "That's not the fucking point, Santana. You killed our baby!"

She looks shocked and then she scoffs. "Obviously you didn't read very far."

He's too pissed to think about what that means. "You're a stupid bitch and I hate you."

"Whoa, back the fuck up, Hudson." She screams at him, kicking a chair this time herself. "Yea…I was going to have an abortion but if you read, oh I don't know the next page you would see where I didn't go through with it!"

"Then where is our child, Santana?" He sees her face fall and her hands move up to her stomach. "What did you do to—"

"Him." She whispers, her eyes tearing up.

"Him?" She nods. "We were going to have a son?" She nods again. "Where is he?"

She falls to the ground, one hand gripping her stomach the other trying to cover her mouth. She's full on crying now and Finn doesn't even have a second thought about running over to comfort her. Puck walks into the room a few minutes later, his eyes wide and he doesn't hesitate to punch Finn in the face.

"What the hell?" Finn yells at him, rubbing his jaw.

Puck scoops Santana up into his arms and like he's a damn physic just knows why she was crying. "He found out?"

"Puck knew?" Finn actually seems pissed.

"Of course I knew!" Puck snaps. "You were too busy pretending to not have cared about Santana while I was dealing with my pregnant girlfriend and my pregnant best friend."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me, Santana."

"Why would she? You made her feel like shit." Puck hasn't been there for Santana for months and she's really happy her old friend is back. "How could she mean nothing to you? She's one of the most amazing girls in this damn town."

Finn looks taken back by Puck's statement. He looks right at Santana and shakes his head. "I didn't mean that. You were talking about burgers and I panicked."

"Burgers?" Puck said confusion obvious on his face.

"You know I'm a nervous eater." Santana managed to get out, calming her crying down.

Finn stepped closer to Santana and Puck pretty much passed her over and into his arms. "Why were you nervous?" Finn whispered to her, holding her close to him.

Santana didn't notice that Puck slipped out and honestly she didn't care if he had stayed or not. "Because you like…you didn't have sex with me…it was…to nice…you made love to me and it scared me. I was freaking out and I just needed out of the room and to be doing something else and burgers were the first thing that popped into my head."

Finn laughs a bit and wraps his arms around her a little tighter. "I'm an idiot." She nods in agreement. "You should break up with Sam."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think he'll like it if I get two of his girlfriends to cheat on him."

She rolls her eyes at him. "What makes you think I want to leave him for you?"

"Oh, well…I read somewhere that you think I'm a super hunk and you want me to just love you forever. Also, that you think I'm—" She punches him in the chest and glares at him. "Because I want to be with you, Santana." He whispers to her before leaning down to kiss her.

She pulls away before his lips can touch hers though and shakes her head. "Sam cares about me."

"I care about you."

"And it took you how long to realize this?"

"Why does that matter? I know it to be true now and I want to be with you."

"You can't just sweep in and say that and expect me to leave Sam for you, Finn." She pulls out of his arms. "You had your chances and you blew them all."

She turned away from him and started to leave the choir room, deciding to blow off rehearsal for the day. She heard Finn shout that he wasn't going to give up and that he'll be with her one day.

She didn't say anything back to him and she was happy that he couldn't see her face because she broke out into a smile and whispered, "Can't wait." To herself.

* * *

><p><strong>Cliffhanger but THE END! <strong>


End file.
